Straight Lines Circle
by KeganHorse
Summary: After a lifetime of struggle and loss, Sakura isn't quite prepared for life after the war. Now, outside the village, Sakura has to find her own way through a world that is getting used to peace while also handling a couple of leftover surprises from the past.
1. Uncorrected Proofs

Sifting through translucent shards of glass,  
>looking for a filament<br>that lit the life you want

The sun hadn't yet risen, nothing but the telltale lightening of the dark night sky to indicate that dawn would soon break. The empty streets shimmered in the morning frost, the late November chill settling in and covering the closed shop windows in thin sheets of ice.

As she passed by, the pink-haired young woman slipped a folded piece of paper beneath a worn and battered wooden door. The note had taken her all night to write, having put more thought into its content than she had ever given a letter before.

It was the apartment of her best friend and team mate, the one man who had always believed in her no matter what. She stared at his door for a moment longer, her face obscured by the thick, orange woolen scarf that he had given her last Christmas before turning away, heading for the gate that would lead her out of the village.

She cursed her pounding heart, beating so loudly she was certain that it would wake the whole neighborhood. But she slipped through the night unnoticed, her silent footsteps carrying her through the village at an achingly slow pace, as though it took all of her strength to keep herself heading forwards. To stop from turning and rushing though that apartment door to confess all her secrets. All her sins.

She could feel the eyes of guards on her as she approached the gate. She steeled her nerves, an irrational thought entering her mind that they would apprehend her as she stepped outside, though she knew they wouldn't. She half-expected that somebody would stop her.

Half-hoped.

She held her breath as she planted the first foot outside the wall. She let it out in a soft gasp.

"Sakura."

A blond woman leaned against the wall, her artificially young face carefully blank. She eyed the small pack slung across her former pupil's back before studying the ratty scarf.

"All of your affairs have been taken care of, then?"

Sakura nodded, a quick and awkward motion.

"Very well, then," the hokage sighed, closing her eyes in a moment of resignation. Then, she held our her left palm.

"Shishou," Sakura starts on reflex, searching for something to say. Something to make things okay again. But she has nothing. She reaches into the pocket of her red wool coat, a gift her mother had given her years ago but she had never worn. It was a civilian coat, not something a ninja could ever wear.

From her pocket, Sakura pulled a strip of metal with a trailing length of cloth attached to either side. Her hitai-ate, the symbol that she was a true kunoichi of her village. And then she placed it into her master's outstretched hand, unable to take it with her.

Sakura felt uneasy as Tsunade studied her, pausing on each unfamiliar aspect. Bulky suede winter boots, long sturdy trousers and the hood of a sweatshirt pulled through the neckline of a coat designed for comfort and not missions. Uneasiness turned to shame.

"I'm sorry, Shishou," Sakura muttered quietly, hanging her head and studying her boots as well. She imagined the heavy footprints they would leave when the snow began to fall.

Tsunade turned, the old and weathered hitai-ate clutched in her right hand. "Don't be, Sakura," Tsunade spoke, her voice quivering almost imperceptibly, though Sakura caught it. "Just do what you have to."

The hokage left, and Sakura knew it was only to hide her tears. She pushed the guilt deeper within herself where it would keep all her other regrets company and turned, leaving behind the wide gates of Konoha and the life she could no longer live.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I have been working on this idea for about three months now and have drafted around ten different first chapters and plot developments for it. No joke. This one, however, was the one I decided to go with!<strong>

**It will be SasuSaku, set three years after the war (this prologue being two years after) and very Sakura-centric. **

**If you would like to see more, please review! I like to hear what everyone has to say, and it really does give me that extra hit of motivation that I am usually fighting with myself to obtain. I am so lazy Dx**

**So yeah, review and let me know what you think about this little snippet into Staight Lines Circle!**

**BTW, all the chapters will have a lyric at the top from The Weakerthans. This one was from their song Uncorrected Proofs!**


	2. History to the Defeated

Don't give me that look,  
>I looked harder than most did,<br>let details like sharp nails punch holes in my shoes.

Sakura entered the small bar, her nose wrinkling automatically at the overpowering stench of stale beer and sweat. Overcoming her disgust, she plopped herself on the closest bar stool and raised her left arm, signaling the man behind the bar to bring her a drink.

The man, appearing to be in his late thirties with thinning hair and wrinkles at the corner of his eyes, gave her a pointed once-over. Sakura knew how she must look, her hair cut short and sticking out in every direction reminiscent of Naruto. She had adopted her former masters trick of using her seal to disguise herself, turning her hair a dark muddy brown and her eyes a dull, greyish-blue. Unwilling to alter her body much more than that, Sakura had simply wrapped her chest in white bindings.

As far as the world was concerned, she was no longer Sakura Haruno. She was simply Haru, the wandering boy with no village. The only problem was that, as a boy, she looked much younger than she actually was.

At the man's hesitation, Sakura pulled a senbon from her holster. With a deft flick of her wrist, she sent it flying towards the dusty dartboard that appeared to be more decoration than entertainment, where it planted itself directly in the center of the red circle. Seemingly placated by her ninja aptitude, he listened to Sakura's request and soon handed her the small bottle of sake she had ordered.

Sakura poured the alcohol into the small sake cup, gulping it down in one fluid motion. She couldn't help the smirk when she thought about how proud her shishou would be, seeing her take the bitter drink without so much as a grimace. But then a small tug in her chest warned her against such thoughts and she turned her attention to the rest of the bar, willing herself to be distracted.

It was indeed a small establishment, with only five tables and the bar itself to seat guests. However, the dimly lit room was rather packed with men and women who all appeared to be ninja themselves. Most wore hitai-ate with the insignia of Amegakure, since this bar was technically just inside the borders of the Land of Rain. There were also a few who wore the insignia of the hidden village in the Land of Rivers as well as, to Sakura's great surprise, two kunoichi who were from Sunagakure.

The jukebox in the corner, an archaic thing that had once been embellished with golden trim and ornate dials, played a song Sakura was unfamiliar with. It's melody was quick and erratic, the lyrics contorted so greatly through the crackling speakers that she wasn't able to make out the words.

She poured another cup, swallowed it roughly and repeated. The more she drank, the more distorted the words of the songs became. The drunker she got, the more she could convince herself that leaving Konoha exactly one year ago today hadn't been another in a long list of mistakes she had made.

One year. One whole, long, uneventful year. Sakura was supposed to be out here finding answers, discovering something to better herself, the way Tsunade had done. Instead, all she had managed to do was create an alternate persona and learn a couple different lower lever medical techniques.

The world around her was acclimating well to the peace that had followed the Fourth Great Shinobi War, as evidenced by the mixture in the bar tonight. Sakura watched as one of the Kunoichi's from Suna flirted coyly with a ninja from Ame, a handsome young man with stubble and a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. Her mind drifted to Asuma. It drifted to Kurenai and their young son, and to Shikamaru who had lost so much. She thought of all her friends back in Konoha, people who had laid their lives down to create such a peace and how at this very moment, they were all happy despite their sacrifices.

So why wasn't she?

She had lost nothing. Her mother and father were both alive and well back home, her friends safe and healthy for the most part. Neji had been a devastating loss to them all, but he wasn't her teammate to grieve for and so she had simply offered her shoulder to Tenten and Lee when they had needed it.

But then there was him. After his fight with Naruto, Tsunade had seen it fit to erase his criminal history before exiling him. No longer a wanted felon, Sasuke was free to do as he liked, but he could never return home.

Naruto had quickly proclaimed that he would reverse that sentence as soon as he was named Hokage, but that left Sakura even more conflicted than before. As things were, she couldn't accept it. A life of moving on, of pretending that the world was the same despite all that had happened just didn't feel right. Not without those they had lost. Not without Sasuke.

But then, the prospect of someday soon, when Naruto was the leader of Konoha, Sasuke coming home and learning how to be with him again. Learning how to exist in the same world as him again was daunting, unimaginable and so foreign a thought after so many years of him being gone that Sakura wasn't sure she could handle that, either.

She finished the bottle and was surprised to see the empty one quickly replaced with another. She put on the best smile she could managed for the man and was met with a slightly furrowed brow, a thin veil of concern across his face. Sakura wasn't sure if her thoughts were painted all over her face or if the man was still wary about serving a boy who appeared to be fifteen years old. Either way, he walked away without a word.

"What's eatin' ya, kid?"

Sakura started at the words that were spoken directly into her ear, midway through taking a gulp straight out of the bottle. She coughed and sputtered, using the back of her hand to wipe her mouth clean. Turning her glare on the person responsible, Sakura was met with a ninja she hadn't noticed before.

The kunoichi stood tall and lean, her dark brown eyes framed by long, pin-straight black hair. Her olive skin was flawless, not something lot of ninja these days could boast claim.

She gave Sakura's back a hearty thump. "Sorry about that, man. Didn't mean to scare ya!"

Sakura gave a final wheeze, trying to ignore the burning that had settled in the back of her nasal cavity and muttered a quick, "don't worry about it."

"But seriously," the woman sat down on the stool next to hers, leaning her elbows on the counter and bringing her face in close to Sakura's. "What's got ya so down? You're gonna give yourself premature wrinkles with all that frownin'."

Sakura tried to ignore the woman, already too close to drunk to care about politeness. She took another swig of her sake to try and clear her throat a bit more and then winced as the stinging in her nose was exacerbated.

"You don't look old enough to be out here on your own," the woman continued, unfazed by the lack of reply. "What village are you from?"

"I'm not from a village," Sakura said without thinking, the lie she had been repeating for a year now so deeply ingrained into the psyche of her new personal that it was an automatic response.

"Oh?" The woman said, cocking her head to the side ever so slightly. "S'that so? Then tell me," and at this, the woman leaned in real close, the stench of the alcohol soaked room dulled by the smell of mint. "What's a girl like you doing here, drinkin' like a fish and lookin' like she wants to end the world?"

Sakura's eyes narrowed, dragging her lethargic limbs into action. Even drunk as she was, Sakura's highly honed skills were still quick as she tossed a few bills on the counter and stalked out of the bar. She cursed to herself as the woman's laughter followed her even after the door had closed.

* * *

><p>"Damn woman," Sakura muttered as she trudged through the tall grass, still not quite trusting her reflexes enough to risk traveling through the trees overhead.<p>

She had adopted the identity of Haru not long after leaving Konoha, aware that her pink hair and distinct personality made her easily recognizable. After changing her hair and eye color, she realized that there wasn't much she could do about the way she acted. She was just naturally hot- blooded and crass. The only way she could make that less pronounced was if she became a boy, so that was what she did. And since then, not a single person had seen through her disguise, no matter how long they spent in her company.

Until tonight.

She was furious. After zigzagging though the small town to make sure nobody had followed her, Sakura had made a beeline for the border that separated the Land of Rain for Rivers. The going was slow, since Sakura's mind was still slightly muddled from the sake, but she was determined to put as much distance between that woman and herself.

Disconcerted with the fact that she has been discovered, Sakura had decided against heading to Wind, where many ninja were familiar with her due to their close ties with Konoha and fighting alongside her during the war. And so that left Rivers, one of the larger nations not included originally in the Alliance.

After about an hour of walking, Sakura decided it was time to stop. She had drank more than she probably should have and the world was beginning to spin. She leaned against a towering oak tree, sliding down it's trunk until she was sitting on the forest floor. She rest her head against the rough bark and closed her eyes, willing the world to be still once more.

She must have drifted off, for the next thing she knew she was being startled awake. The sharp sound of a twig breaking cleanly in half had her trained instincts reeling, the alcohol having dissipated from her system.

On her feet, Sakura glanced in every direction, drawing a kunai from her belt and holding it up and ready. Something moved behind a tree some fifteen feet away and Sakura instantly sent her weapon flying, straight into a clone that popped out of existence before her eyes could separated it from the darkness.

"Now now, Sakura-chan," a sickeningly familiar voice spoke from directly behind her. "I expected more form you than this."

Sakura flung herself away from the man, reaching for another weapon. She found none.

Kabuto stepped forward, holding up his right hand, where three of her own kunai dangled off his finger tips.

"It isn't very safe to be walking alone while you're drunk, Sakura-chan," Kabuto tutted, shaking his head in mocking disbelief. "Especially for a young girl like yourself."

Certain that her henge was still in place and unwilling to rush in to attack him hand-to-hand, Sakura settled for a guarded glare. "How do you know who I am?"

"Sakura-chan!" His mocking tone took on an air of hurt, as though her words had offended him. "How could you think so little of me? That I wouldn't recognize my valued fellow medic is unthinkable." He leaned against the same tree that she had been sitting under, dropping the knives he had stolen from her at its base.

"What do you want?" Sakura asked through clenched teeth, careful not to take her eyes off Kabuto. She knew this man had a trained eye for weak spots and never hesitated to use them.

A smile slithered its way across his face, so wide that Sakura could see how someone could find it genuine. This man looked so innocent, so inconspicuous at first glance. He truly was a snake.

"I have a gift for you, my dear Sakura-chan," Kabuto put his hands together, clasping them in a faux-friendly sign of trust. "From Orochimaru-sama himself."

She stared back at him, waiting for his trap to spring. "A gift?"

"Yes," he repeated. "A gift."  
>Sakura refused to let this man catch her off guard, her defensive stance remaining unchanged as she asked, "And what exactly is this 'gift?'"<p>

With the smile still in place, Kabuto reached behind the tree. Readying herself for an attack, Sakura was dumbstruck at what the snake presented her with.

"His name is Mitsubachi," Kabuto explained, his hands resting on the shoulders of a young boy with disheveled blonde hair and eyes the color of fresh, golden honey. The boy stood still, not an ounce of fear on his face despite the man he stood next to.

The look of incredulity on Sakura's face must have been enough of a reaction for Kabuto.

"He is very special, Sakura-chan," Kabuto assured her. "He has already learned a bit of medical jutsu just by watching me work, but as you might imagine, being with me or Orochimaru-sama is a healthy place for a growing young boy."

He said all this with a smile on his face, as though he and Sakura really were old friends. She decided to take the suspicious route.

"So you gift is what, a spy?" Sakura spat the words out, mostly to cover up her confusion. Kabuto, at lease, had the sense to look affronted.

"Sakura-chan!" He admonished, removing his hands from the young boy's shoulders and placing them over his ears. "How rude, to say something so offensive right in front of him. He is a very fragile young thing, you see."

"Well then why the hell would you be giving him to me?" Sakura demanded, wishing for this encounter to end. It didn't matter if the end was a fight or simply Kabuto leaving with a menacing promise as he so often did, as long as he was gone.

"He needs a proper teacher, Sakura-chan," Kabuto pouted, a look that bewildered Sakura. "And I can't very well prance into Konoha or any other hidden village for that matter to drop him off, now can I? So when I heard you were out here on your own, I naturally sought you out. As I said, he is already capable of performing medical jutsu."

Sakura took a moment to study the boy, taking in his odd characteristics. Never before had she encountered someone with golden eyes and sun-kissed skin that almost seemed to glow in the moonlight. "Why is he with you, anyways?"

"Why, indeed," Kabuto responded, bringing one hand to his chin as if in consideration. "Well, at the very least he won't be anymore.

As he spoke, Kabuto's feet were engulfed in a flame that steadily climbed higher, carrying the dangerous man away.

"Kabuto," Sakura cried. "Wait!"  
>"I'm trusting you, Sakura-chan!"<br>And then he was gone, leaving behind a wide-eyed little boy who had yet to say a single word. "Mitsubachi, was it?" Sakura asked after what had to have been the most painful length of silence she had endured in a long time. The boy nodded, his face blank as ever. "Uh, are you hungry?"

At her words, a fire seemed to light inside and the once flat, golden eyes began to burn as bright as the sun as he nodded his head vigorously.

"Well," Sakura mused, still uncertain of what the best course of action could be. This boy had been brought to her by Kabuto at the behest of Orochimaru. It wasn't entirely safe to trust this situation. But on the other hand, this boy looked no older than twelve and resembled her boisterous blond teammate so closely that she couldn't bring herself to leave him behind. "I know of a ramen place nearby. Let's go."

* * *

><p>A real chapter! Hooray!<br>Just a couple of things. Haru, clearly, is just Sakura's last name without the 'no.' It means "Sunshine" or Springtime." Mitsubachi means "Honeybee."

The title and lyrics are from the song 'History to the Defeated' by The Weakerthans. I thought the chosen lines were fitting, given Sakura's doubts despite how hard she herself worked to attain peace and how her time away from Konoha thus far has not helped at all, but instead seems to be "punching holes" in her shoes as she searches for what is missing in her life.

So please, continue to read and enjoy and review if you are feeling in the giving mood!

'Til next time!


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